Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Part Two

Months later, the colour began to seep back into my life whilst I was on a walk. I had Lyra in a sling, and both of the dogs were with me when I noticed some pink berries in a hedgerow. All of the walks I had been on previously, both with people and by myself, had seemed dull and grey and hopeless. 

Once I started seeing colour, they started to seep more and more into view. Red berries in the bushes, beautiful blue skies, lush December sunshine glinting off the water in the reservoir. And then the rainbow.

I immediately felt that the rainbow represented me - healed me - and I'd been there all along, just waiting for the clouds to blow over. The more I think about it, I'm shining the strongest against the backdrop of the dark clouds and with the reflection of the rain. As much as I couldn't wait to be well and in the sunshine, I was just relieved to have a glimmer of hope.

That evening, I started journalling. I write down how I've felt each day and then several things that I'm grateful for. I try to stay relentlessly positive. It isn't always easy, but it's better to look on the bright side.

I'm still not there yet, but I am starting to have more and more glimmers of hope. Moments, hours, sometimes even a whole day where I won't feel the PND/PNA. The healing process is frustratingly slow, but it is at least happening. And that's hopeful.

 I just need to stay patient and trust my journey.


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