Keeping Mum

'Keeping Mum' means keeping quiet. And I certainly haven't done that. I don't think it's healthy to try and struggle through, especially with an illness that eats away at you so internally and makes you doubt and question everything. You need other people. And sometimes, they might just need you too.

Every time I've made new mum friends, I've mentioned the PND/PNA. And nine times out of ten, they reply with, "Me too!" It is so common and so many women out there have it or have had it in some form or other. 

Before lockdown, I got out and about as much as I could - meeting with friends and going to mum and baby groups. They helped so much. A massive part of PND for many women stems from isolation and obviously lockdown hasn't helped. In fact, calls to PANDAS helpline (a PND helpline) in January were up something ridiculous like 240% this year! I feel lucky that I've been able to go to the groups I've been to this year and fortunate that I have made some lovely new friends.

I used to think I loved solitude and "me time", but now I realise that - as a teacher - I would interact with hundreds of people in a day and then come home and enjoy the peace and solitude. I thrive off interacting with others. The natural (and, these days, enforced) solitude that comes with having a new baby has felt strange and unsettling. Reaching out and finding your mum tribe is so important. Making new friends isn't always easy, but the one or two new ones I've made are definitely keepers. Essentially, if you can message them daily about poo and boobs (you know who you are!) then you've found your tribe!

So, I won't be Keeping Mum about all this, but I will definitely be keeping my mum friends.

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