Insert herb pun here - maybe something to do with Thyme healing? I leave that to you, Reader!

I was desperate to cure myself. Desperate to seek help. I spent a lot of time on Google - and that only increased my anxiety. 

I researched a lot of different methods for "curing" PND and decided to try acupuncture and Chinese herbs first. I have no idea why - I suppose because acupuncture is supported by science and although I didn't want to medicate, I did want something backed up medical fields.

Because of the pandemic and distancing restrictions, it was difficult to access acupuncture. Add to that an inability to leave Lyra for long periods of time (we are exclusively breastfeeding and, at the time, she couldn't go for very long periods of time without being fed and that meant I couldn't spend very long away from her). 

I still contacted a local Chinese herbalist though and went to go and see her. Harry and Mum and Lyra - they took her for a pram walk by the river. It was the first time I had spent more than a few minutes away from her since she'd been born 8 weeks ago.

The Chinese herbalist gave me some herbs to brew into teas each day. They looked...exotic! Like mushrooms on steroids. They tasted less so! I can't say that they lifted the depression, but my physical symptoms did seem to reduce so perhaps they helped to regulate my hormones a bit. Perhaps.

On a positive note...

I definitely would like to try acupuncture and I do feel it would would beneficial. 

It was good to spend that half hour away from Lyra and know that she was being well-cared for. Months later, that's probably still the longest I have been apart from her - mainly because of the pandemic. I do think it's important to spend time away from your baby though and that's something I need to work on.

Although the herbs tasted like evil and didn't cure me in ten days, they did set me on the path to healing and for that, I am thankful.

Picture: just because it's cute and it was taken back in October around the time I was trying the herbs!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

R&R

Image
"Just give yourself a break and be kind to yourself."  If I had a penny for every time I've heard that, I'd be...well, not rich, but I'd have a pretty impressive coin jar by now!  The trouble is, it is pretty tricky to rest and do activities for myself when I can't remember what old Beth used to like! PND drags you away from your old self and makes you feel as though this is it - this is you now. You can't remember who you used to be or what you used to enjoy, you know only the "not quite you" that you are now. For months, I have been unable to relax - especially in the house. I think lockdown has contributed to this massively; I know many of us have felt caged and trapped (the clue is in the word "lock", I suppose!)  I usually feel worse in the mornings and almost myself again by the evening. This is common for PND. Going to bed feeling alright and then waking up bad again and having to really work to fend it off. It's ...
Read more

Let's Talk

Image
It's been a long while since I last posted. I blame the dreaded sleep regression - more on that in another post though! For now, I'm going to be looking back and picking up where I left off which was in October/November time. My GP, on my request, referred me to the Perinatal Mental Health Team who then bounced me back and told me to self refer to Healthy Minds (previously Let's Talk). I only had to wait a week and in the meantime, had to complete a questionnaire to assess my mood. I was shocked to receive a letter from the NHS a few days later with the results: Severe anxiety and severe depression.  I should be clear; at no point have I received a diagnosis of PND. I know I have it, but no GP has actually said those words to me. The support for and understanding of this illness, in Herefordshire at least, is severely lacking and this was evident through the CBT I received which was not tailored to my illness. It involved a weekly phone call with a therapist and, to be hone...
Read more

Finding Freedom

Image
I am so so so so so thankful to Sian and the organisers and volunteers of the Freedom Bumps and Babies group. It has kept me going. They are so kind and brave to have run a mum and baby support group throughout this pandemic and throughout lockdowns. They gave us a small scrap of normality in a turbulent time. Going to that group once a week has very often been the highlight of my week. Just being in a room with other women and having a chat is uplifting and comforting. It also led me gently back to my faith. When I was young, I didn't ever feel that I belonged in church. I wasn't as pretty or talented or motivated as the other youths - that's how I felt. I didn't ever feel like I fit in. Now I do. (Sidenote: when I was younger, I wasn't the glamorous and confident Beth you now know. I was sort of gangly, and goofy, and clumsy. Just kidding. I'm still all of those things; now I just own it!)   I lost my faith a bit over the years and now I'm disc...
Read more