You've Got a Friend in Me; a problem shared...

We've reached the stage of my journey where I began to discover how to heal. 

One of the main things you need to do to treat PND is to reach out for support. I began drawing a support network around me like a blanket, wrapping myself in the love of family and friends. 

I hate being vulnerable. We all do. It's far easier to be the one to give help than it is to be the one to accept it. But I strongly believe that once better, you should turn around and offer a hand to help the next person up off their feet. And that's what many of my friends have been doing for me. I hope one day to be able to return the favour.

Sharon, in particular, has been my lifeline through all of this. She made sure I went "back to basics" and messaged me multiple times a day to make sure I was eating and drinking. She is a great advocate of self-care and she also made sure that I tried to take each hour as it came. Sharon even sent me gifts to help to cheer me up and we have started to send one another daily kindness quotations or messages of positivity to start our days. Her daily messages have meant the world to me and our friendship - in fact, all of the friendships I mention here - have blossomed and flourished because of this. 

Fliss and Lauri have also been amazing. It was really difficult to tell them what I was going through, but when I did, they both cried along with me. It was such a powerful moment to share the emotions. They are naughty and cheeky and hilarious - everyone needs a Fliss and Lauri in their life.

Abi and Jo lift me up and answer all of my ridiculous questions about babies and boobies. And we eat cake together. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of people willing to sit and eat cake with you. Outside. In the pouring rain.

Chloe and Caz are just the best. They have children of similar ages to my little one and I can ask them anything. I can moan about anything. And they will tell me to get over myself and suck it up. We all need friends and family who aren't afraid to straight talk and I'm so lucky to have them. We are going through it all together and that means a lot.

Hannah was on the end of the phone the night I had my miscarriage - she made me ring 111 who told me to get in to a&e quick or they would send an ambulance - and she has been in regular contact since to check in with. I appreciate her so much and she adores Lyra.

Beryl has been helping me to find myself again by coming out in horrendous weather to go on nature walks. We are also planning to do wild swimming in the New Year. Brave or stupid...you decide! 

I've been making new friends too along the way, and Nat has been a bright light in the darkness. I met her on a day when I was feeling awful, but had forced myself out of the house to go on a sling walk. We clicked immediately because we are both 'unmumsy mums' in that we would much rather be out and about in the wind and rain than in a village hall massaging our babies! Motherhood compels you to go out and 'tend and befriend' others in a similar situation, make as many new mummy friends as possible and then figure out which ones you like. I haven't really done that, but luckily for me, Nat's a keeper!

And then there's Harry. My soulmate. My rock. My best friend. He's absolutely as clueless as I am when it comes to raising a baby, but we are in this together and he is by my side and on my side.

So, there we are. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to gather your friends and family about you and let them lift you up. It will make the world of difference.



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