Sweet Dreams are made of Zzzzzs

The four month sleep regression.

Whether or not you believe in this, it happened to us. One minute Lyra was a little newborn who began to sleep in five/six hour stretches through the night. We'd have these magical little night feeds and changes and yes, it was tiring, but she would nod off again and sleep for another four hours. Bliss.

And then she turned 3.5 months. Her sleep cycles changed into adult ones which meant she woke up every 45 minutes. We all do this, by the way, but we often don't notice it and drift right back to sleep again. Lyra, on the other hand, was used to being breastfed to sleep. She could only sleep by being fed to sleep. So when she woke every 45 minutes at night, so did I. It was hellish. 

I'm not sure where the phrase, "slept like a baby" came from, but it certainly wasn't a parent!

I have never been so utterly exhausted and we tried absolutely everything to break the cycle of her dependence on me to get to sleep - dummies (she spat them out - still does!) Giving her a bottle (she wouldn't take it - still won't!) Bedsharing (following safe sleep guidelines, but it still meant waking up every hour and having to feed her and I got even less sleep because I was so afraid I'd roll on to her). 

One of the symptoms of PND is extreme fatigue, so I was already suffering. To be hit with this sleep deprivation too was horrendous and after a few months of it, we made the decision to move her into her own room and to not respond to her at the first little cry or grizzle. It was a snap decision fuelled by exhaustion. It worked beautifully. 

That first night in her own room, I fed her, popped her down in the cot, kissed her goodnight, and left the room. She cried for a grand total of five heartbreaking minutes and then...she fell asleep! By herself! That night, I didn't sleep a wink. I remember lying in bed, baby monitor on full volume waiting for her to wake up. She woke a couple of times and had feeds, going straight back down after each one.

The next night, I slept a little better.

Don't get me wrong, we still have little blips, but usually she will go to bed and wake once or twice a night for a quick feed. It's still not a full night of sleep for me, but it is so so so much better than it was and I can function much better now.

On a positive note:

Sleep is so important and often you don't realise how much you need it until you aren't getting it. I am so thankful that Lyra sleeps so well in her own room - I think we spent most of our co sleeping nights waking each other up. 

Harry has been sleeping through the night since she was born, the cheeky bugger!

Tips for sleep anxiety:

Do not check your phone/watch/clock at night. You will end up overthinking how many hours of sleep you've had/might be able to get.

Get off Google! Ask your Health Visitor for advice. There is so much conflicting advice out there for baby sleep. Just ask one trusted person/source and go with that. Also, go with your gut. You know your baby. You won't break your baby. 

Switch off screens at least half an hour before bed.

Try magnesium butter on your legs if you get restless legs like me (it works a treat!)

Apparently counting back from 100 in sets of 3 can help. I'm not good enough at Maths to be able to attempt this!

The Calm app has some lovely sleep tracks you can listen to to help you relax and switch off.

Know that it really is just a phase, and you will get better sleep soon.